Thursday, September 18, 2008

First Girls' Club

The first girls' club meeting was held! I thought we could get a lot done, but there was just enough time in the 1 1/2 to 2 hours to introduce everyone, vote on a club name (The Great Girls Club), and decorate a shirt to use as a smock in future meetings. Password, handshakes, etc will probably be not be a voting process--it could take months! We also didn't discuss how to handle craft costs, snacking, and which American Girls to concentrate on. I decided to go chronologically.

Most of the girls had a good time. There was one notable exception--my very own daughter. My younger daughter, Flurpee, had a rip-roaring, scream-at-the-top-of-her-lungs, knock-over-furniture, destroy-any-crafting-material temper tantrum. In case you forgot, she's almost seven! She's a big girl. It was very disruptive to the meeting too, with the screaming and all of the kids whispering about how badly she was behaving and not able to enjoy the meeting as much.

There are a number of things I can think might have exacerbated Flurpee's wild behavior (many of which involve my own mistakes, but since it's my blog I think I'll just ignore those for now). I cannot discount the addition of Filthy Little Moose. I probably 'babied' her quite a bit. For another I have not yet settled on a consistent approach to this apparent melt-down/manipulation (oh yes, some of it is deliberately planned). Well, now that I've decided screaming in frustration didn't actually help (can you believe it took me a whole month to figure that out?). Harder schoolwork now that she's advancing in grades could also be a problem.


Deb said...

Kim, sorry the club was a little tainted by Flurpee's behavior.

I had a similar experience, once, and what I did about it was this: Sat down younger daughter and explained that since we can't trust her to behave around company, she is simply not allowed to be there when my older daughter had those friends over. I then got my husband to take her out for one of them, and then arranged for her to be elsewhere another time -- each time reminding her casually and dispassionately that she's going away for a time because we can't trust her to be appropriate. I know it's inconvenient to make those other arrangements, but it only took twice before the disruptions totally ceased. She begged to be allowed to hover during the fourth meeting, and I pretty much had her sign on the dotted line that she wouldn't be disruptive, and it worked.

Kim said...

I'm going to ask my husband to help with that. Thanks for the suggestion! It might seem obvious, but being home alone and asking for my husband's help with managing the kids had always seemed like a cop out to me--like I wasn't together enough to figure out how to get things done on my own. But there's no reason why I couldn't expect a little bit of his time (since he still has plenty of vacation) to help with parenting issues of his own children. Silly, eh?

Shez said...

great idea Deb.

Kim, I love the sound of your club. Shira is in a girl's club run by a friend. I need to start one for Ben. he begged to join Cub Scouts and we agreed against our better judgement. We're going to have to pull him out because of the religion involved. He wants to belong to a group of boys and I don't want to deal with the crap that goes with boy scouts. I know I need to do something for him but I find it so difficult to deal wiht groups of little boys. girls are so much easier in groups. They don't seem to feel this need to outdo each other.