On this blog I generally have not felt free to 'let it all hang out.' Some stuff, sure, the little annoyances (like my bad spelling) you all know about. The important stuff is kept behind closed doors. When I'm having trouble with schooling (can you say panic attack?) or really, really bad days with the kids, I like to keep that to myself. But I've been spending a lot of time realizing some bad parenting things I do and beginning the process of fixing some of it. Here is a bad one!
I'm a perfectionist and instilling perfectionism in my kids! I've been seeing it over the past few months. I've felt kind of lost about the whole thing. It seemed like it could be the personality of one kid, but when the second one started erasing her letters over and over again--I just had to face facts. There was a single common denominator--me staying home with them.
So I've picked up a few parenting books again and I'm reading those along with other things I need to do with homeschooling. But I did come across this article about perfectionism at Psychology Today that explains why it's so harmful and gives a quick-start guide for appropriate techniques to use.
I know I'm the only perfectionist in the crowd and must be the only person lost in how to deal with it. But the article is interesting and maybe worth a look to see what horrors other parents are inflicting on their children. (I am being a little sarcastic--there must be at least one person reading this who is also a perfectionist with their kids. One? Hello? Bueller? Crickets!)
The funny thing is that I knew all that from when I first read my parenting books. Sometimes old habits die hard!